The twenty-fifth anniversary of the
fall of the Berlin wall and my thoughts go back to the days when I first began to use
a computer for word-processing.
fall of the Berlin wall and my thoughts go back to the days when I first began to use
a computer for word-processing.
What an expression, word
processing. No longer the business of
writing but the business of processing words, as if words were like sausages on
a conveyer belt in need of packaging.
processing. No longer the business of
writing but the business of processing words, as if words were like sausages on
a conveyer belt in need of packaging.
I can see it in my mind’s eye.
My husband makes sausages. He takes a lump of pork and minces it till it
turns into a lumpy pink sludge then adds herbs and spices.
turns into a lumpy pink sludge then adds herbs and spices.
Next he forces some part of the
mixture into the top of his sausage maker, brand name DICK, and screws down the
lever that forces the mince into thin stockings of sausage casing made out of
cow gut lining.
mixture into the top of his sausage maker, brand name DICK, and screws down the
lever that forces the mince into thin stockings of sausage casing made out of
cow gut lining.
He squeezes a quantity of mixture
into a gigantic sausage and finally cuts it off in over size lengths that he
then sections into sausage length strips tied with a butcher’s string.
into a gigantic sausage and finally cuts it off in over size lengths that he
then sections into sausage length strips tied with a butcher’s string.
My husband lets the sausages sit in
the fridge for a day, then Cryovacs a small quantity, usually in batches of three
or four sausages, and finally freezes them until use. Most of the sausages he gives away to friends
and family, and some we take out and defrost for barbeques.
the fridge for a day, then Cryovacs a small quantity, usually in batches of three
or four sausages, and finally freezes them until use. Most of the sausages he gives away to friends
and family, and some we take out and defrost for barbeques.
My husband’s sausages taste better
than the ones we buy from the shops. We know what goes into them.
than the ones we buy from the shops. We know what goes into them.
Word processing on the other hand
requires other ingredients like the mind behind the machine to turn them into
something of value.
requires other ingredients like the mind behind the machine to turn them into
something of value.
Twenty-five years ago I looked at
computers in the same way as I had looked at cars another ten years earlier
when I was still young and believed I would never need to drive one.
computers in the same way as I had looked at cars another ten years earlier
when I was still young and believed I would never need to drive one.
My husband would be in charge of
all things car related. I could simply
be a passenger.
all things car related. I could simply
be a passenger.
Whether this attitude held me back
I do not know, though it took me several years in my early twenties to get my driver’s
licence.
I do not know, though it took me several years in my early twenties to get my driver’s
licence.
I was phobic about driving, one of
my driving instructors told me. He took
me out for lessons in his turquoise coloured Datsun 180y and every time I
stepped inside his car I needed to change my shoes.
my driving instructors told me. He took
me out for lessons in his turquoise coloured Datsun 180y and every time I
stepped inside his car I needed to change my shoes.
These were the days of platform
heels, shoes that gave an extra three or four inches in height.
heels, shoes that gave an extra three or four inches in height.
Those were the days when a driving instructor
put up a yellow learner’s plate on his car and he could charge a fee to help
someone like me learn to drive.
put up a yellow learner’s plate on his car and he could charge a fee to help
someone like me learn to drive.
It took me three attempts to get my
licence.
licence.
The first time I failed to stop for
a man who had walked across the driveway with a wheelbarrow.
a man who had walked across the driveway with a wheelbarrow.
I can see him still this man
hunched over his red barrow intent on heaving his load from one side of the
road to the next.
hunched over his red barrow intent on heaving his load from one side of the
road to the next.
I could not bring myself to
stop. There was too much to synchronise:
the getting out through the driveway in a non-automatic car with clutch and gears,
which I needed to coordinate in order to start and to stop.
stop. There was too much to synchronise:
the getting out through the driveway in a non-automatic car with clutch and gears,
which I needed to coordinate in order to start and to stop.
I had just managed to get the car out
of the parking lot but needed to stop too soon.
I managed to slow back to first gear and hoped the man would get past
soon enough for me to go on driving but my instructor slammed on his secondary brakes
to spare us all the horror of my car running into the man with the
wheelbarrow.
of the parking lot but needed to stop too soon.
I managed to slow back to first gear and hoped the man would get past
soon enough for me to go on driving but my instructor slammed on his secondary brakes
to spare us all the horror of my car running into the man with the
wheelbarrow.
The examiner failed me on the spot.
The second time I went for my
licence I managed to get out of the driving zone and onto the road. I was then able to negotiate my way through
several streets under the examiner’s instructions, but by the time it came to
parallel parking my nerves were frayed to the point I could not manage to synchronise
the required number of full turns of the wheel to get the car into place.
licence I managed to get out of the driving zone and onto the road. I was then able to negotiate my way through
several streets under the examiner’s instructions, but by the time it came to
parallel parking my nerves were frayed to the point I could not manage to synchronise
the required number of full turns of the wheel to get the car into place.
Once again I failed.
On my third attempt I managed to
drive through the streets of Oakleigh without any mishaps, but once again on
the hill that runs up to the Chadstone shopping centre after I had managed a
handbrake start and brought us back to the flat I could not negotiate my way into
a parallel park through the two marker flags the instructor had set in place.
drive through the streets of Oakleigh without any mishaps, but once again on
the hill that runs up to the Chadstone shopping centre after I had managed a
handbrake start and brought us back to the flat I could not negotiate my way into
a parallel park through the two marker flags the instructor had set in place.
Too much reversing and I could not
get my mind into position, but this time the examiner took pity on me and
granted me my licence after all.
get my mind into position, but this time the examiner took pity on me and
granted me my licence after all.
‘You’d better
practice your parking’, he said some thirty years ago.
practice your parking’, he said some thirty years ago.
Yet to this day I cannot parallel
park. I can reverse into spaces from an
angle. I can reverse out of driveways. I can reverse into a parking space that is
parallel if there are no obstacles in front or behind, but I cannot squeeze my car
into a narrow space between two cars on the side of the road, despite my
instructor’s urge that I practise.
park. I can reverse into spaces from an
angle. I can reverse out of driveways. I can reverse into a parking space that is
parallel if there are no obstacles in front or behind, but I cannot squeeze my car
into a narrow space between two cars on the side of the road, despite my
instructor’s urge that I practise.
My husband and now my daughters
have volunteered to teach me, but something inside leaves parallel parking a gap in my
experience that I do not want to rectify.
have volunteered to teach me, but something inside leaves parallel parking a gap in my
experience that I do not want to rectify.
Another wall that has yet to fall.