Rooster one day, feather duster the
next, or so my husband reckons in relation to the fate of a certain politician
and his conservative party following their defeat in yesterdays election in
Queensland.
next, or so my husband reckons in relation to the fate of a certain politician
and his conservative party following their defeat in yesterdays election in
Queensland.
Triumph to abjection. I know the slide well. The ways in which I might see-saw between
omnipotence and impotence. One day on
top of the world, the next day in the gutter.
omnipotence and impotence. One day on
top of the world, the next day in the gutter.
1972
My boyfriend rang from
Edithvale. It wasn’t often I spoke on
the telephone. I had an aversion to the
disembodied voice at the other end. The
fact that I could not see the other person’s face rendered me voiceless, as if
I could not find words enough in my mind to fill the silence that grew between
us.
Edithvale. It wasn’t often I spoke on
the telephone. I had an aversion to the
disembodied voice at the other end. The
fact that I could not see the other person’s face rendered me voiceless, as if
I could not find words enough in my mind to fill the silence that grew between
us.
And so I had trained myself to use
the telephone only for calls of an intentional nature. The calls you make to arrange an
appointment, or to meet someone. Nothing
that required any other effort than to relay a brief message.
the telephone only for calls of an intentional nature. The calls you make to arrange an
appointment, or to meet someone. Nothing
that required any other effort than to relay a brief message.
The call on the telephone to my boyfriend to make arrangements for when we would meet on the weekend was even shorter than
I had expected when my father came along with his scissors and snipped the
cord.
I had expected when my father came along with his scissors and snipped the
cord.
The idea that I should engage
with someone in the outside world, or perhaps the fact that this someone was a
boyfriend, had enraged my father.
with someone in the outside world, or perhaps the fact that this someone was a
boyfriend, had enraged my father.
There was no reasoning with him, and
I fled.
I fled.
2002
Forty years later when my then
fifteen-year-old daughter was on the phone for about the fourth time that night
clogging up the line, my husband took my father’s place.
fifteen-year-old daughter was on the phone for about the fourth time that night
clogging up the line, my husband took my father’s place.
In those days we had only one line
and my husband sometimes needed it for work. He, too, destroyed the connection that night,
but not in the same way. Not quite.
and my husband sometimes needed it for work. He, too, destroyed the connection that night,
but not in the same way. Not quite.
He snatched the telephone from our daughter’s hand after she had refused to finish up the call and cracked the
receiver open on his knee. It must
have hurt him, but his rage shielded him from too much pain.
receiver open on his knee. It must
have hurt him, but his rage shielded him from too much pain.
Not so our daughter. She was devastated and she too fled, but not
after remonstrating with her father for doing this, and with me for not
stopping him.
after remonstrating with her father for doing this, and with me for not
stopping him.
Years later my daughter showed me
she had kept the broken telephone in her possession as a souvenir of that
dreadful time.
she had kept the broken telephone in her possession as a souvenir of that
dreadful time.
It’s not something my husband is
proud of, nor am I.
proud of, nor am I.
It puzzles me this antipathy we can have to others who connect elsewhere with someone else in our presence. The jealousy that stirs.
1960
It was not the first time my father
had disconnected the telephone. He did
it years before when I was still very small, but this time he simply refused to
pay the bill and the telephone company instead cut us off.
had disconnected the telephone. He did
it years before when I was still very small, but this time he simply refused to
pay the bill and the telephone company instead cut us off.
For years we were without a
telephone and it seemed to me even as a seven year old that there was something
shameful about not having a telephone number to offer people in case they might
want to make contact with us, other than face to face, on foot or by
letter.
telephone and it seemed to me even as a seven year old that there was something
shameful about not having a telephone number to offer people in case they might
want to make contact with us, other than face to face, on foot or by
letter.
I never once talked to my father
about his decision to sever my phone connection with my boyfriend but to give
him credit, my husband talked to my daughter and in a calmer moment he apologised. He was good at apologising.
about his decision to sever my phone connection with my boyfriend but to give
him credit, my husband talked to my daughter and in a calmer moment he apologised. He was good at apologising.
As was my daughter, both apologised
for their part in the fracas, but in my mind now I hang the responsibility on
my husband’s shoulders and on mine.
for their part in the fracas, but in my mind now I hang the responsibility on
my husband’s shoulders and on mine.
We should have found a better way
to deal with an adolescent daughter who spent too many hours on the telephone,
even though at the time it seemed as though words were not enough.
to deal with an adolescent daughter who spent too many hours on the telephone,
even though at the time it seemed as though words were not enough.
In the end we ordered an extra
phone line and there was no longer any need to police the time spent on calls
except when mobiles came in and for a time our daughter could run up huge bills
from talking too long to her friends on this then more expensive form.
phone line and there was no longer any need to police the time spent on calls
except when mobiles came in and for a time our daughter could run up huge bills
from talking too long to her friends on this then more expensive form.
2015
Today the mobile phone is such a lifeline
for most of us. And I, too, am in the
habit of checking mine several times a day just to be sure no one is trying to
reach me.
for most of us. And I, too, am in the
habit of checking mine several times a day just to be sure no one is trying to
reach me.
Another daughter in Scotland communicates by
Skype and we, too, talk on the phone but now face to face on the screen.
Skype and we, too, talk on the phone but now face to face on the screen.
It helps to see her face. It helps to hear her voice. The distance between us washes away for a
moment and she could be in the next room.
moment and she could be in the next room.
1957
When my mother and father travelled
from Holland to Australia in the early 1950s, before my father had the
telephone cut off, my grandparents sometimes made a call. We children were never allowed to speak, but
I heard the tension in my mother’s voice as she tried to connect across the
distance with her own father and how every word which cost so much money seemed
precious and therefore too hard to find.
The conversations were stilted and short.
from Holland to Australia in the early 1950s, before my father had the
telephone cut off, my grandparents sometimes made a call. We children were never allowed to speak, but
I heard the tension in my mother’s voice as she tried to connect across the
distance with her own father and how every word which cost so much money seemed
precious and therefore too hard to find.
The conversations were stilted and short.
Words are like that, unless they
flow freely, they fall flat. From rooster to feather duster in one fell
swoop.
flow freely, they fall flat. From rooster to feather duster in one fell
swoop.